Suicide

If you are considering suicide, please read this article first. It will save you a lot of trouble.

I attempted suicide one Saturday. What a mistake that was. I have a severe mental illness which resists treatment and robs me of all my motivation, enjoyment of life, and social and financial skills. It nearly destroyed my career as a horticulturist because I was too stressed and tired to finish my projects. Well, I had enough of being too sick to study, so I bought ten feet of rope from Canadian Tire and went into the arboretum to hang myself. I told God before I made the attempt that He'd better send an angel to stop me because I was determined to end my suffering.

I tried three times to hang myself, each time with a different tree, because for some reason the rope wouldn't stay on the branch long enough for me to put it on. I believe that God intervened at that point in my life because my friend Robert said he had a vision of me. He prayed that I wouldn't be successful at killing myself. So much for those pathetic satanists who were putting curses on me. Even in my darkest moments I have God's love and protection. And so do you.

Just think of what you face if you fail a suicide attempt. You'll spend a week or more in the psychiatric ward with grumbling senile elderly people who poop their pants. The food is unappetizing, you can't get outside to exercise, you can't use the phone, your wardrobe is limited to pastel-colored linens that you have to tie on, and you have to share the television with restless schizophrenics who keep flicking channels. Just think of all the time you waste in there when you could be working at your job or getting homework done. Just think about sharing a room with two excessively hairy men who could kill you in your sleep if you pissed them off.

Suicide. I tried it and it didn't work. So don't do it, okay?

COMMON MYTHS ABOUT SUICIDE

Myth #1: People who talk about suicide aren't suicidal.

Reality: Everyone who considers suicide will talk about it.  Such people are looking for help.  If they talk to you, listen to them.

Myth #2: Suicides happen without warning.

Reality:  All suicide cases are preceded by one of ten warning signs (see below).  They are not unpredictable bursts of violence but the result of chronic suffering.

Myth #3: Suicidal people can't be convinced not to kill themselves.

Reality:  Suicidal people actually WANT to continue on living.  They just can't understand how to cope.  They waver between the desire to live and the desire to end their lives.  The suicidal impulse doesn't last very long; if you talk with a potential victim long enough, he may snap out of his thanatotic desire.
 

Myth #4:  The risk of suicide is over if the attempt is unsuccessful.

Reality: A previous suicide attempt is an important risk factor for determining a subsequent suicide attempt.

Myth #5: Suicide strike rich people more often than middle-class or poor people.

Reality: All classes of people are equally at risk for suicide.

Myth #6:  Suicide is hereditary.

Reality: Suicide is not hereditary.

Myth #7: Suicide victims are mentally ill.

Reality:  Mental illness is not an essential component of a suicidal case.  Certainly mental illness can drive one to suicide, but so can AIDS or cancer.  All that is necessary for suicide to happen is a feeling of hopelessness and a mistaken belief that things would be better if one committed suicide.

Myth #8: Suicidal people fit a specific personality type.

Reality: There is no suicidal personality type.  Certain people are more prone to suicide: previous suicide attempters, drug abusers, the bereaved, and the terminally or incurably ill (such as people with ALS or schizophrenia).

Myth #9: Old people with a short time to live are the most at risk of suicide.

Reality:  Statistics report that people over 50 are LESS likely to take their own lives than teenagers and young adults.

Myth #10:  Women only threaten to kill themselves, but men actually succeed in taking their own lives.

Reality: Women are three times more likely to attempt suicide, but men are three times more likely to succeed.  Women use less violent methods to kill themselves - such as poisoning or asphyxiation - which means that they are more likely to survive an attempt.

BIG, BIG, BIG MYTH: Talking about suicide implants the suicidal impulse in the minds of potential victims.

Reality:  Talking about suicide actually PREVENTS suicide.  Talking about suicide brings the topic out into the open for the potential victim and he may ask for help.

TWELVE DANGER SIGNS TO WATCH FOR

Withdrawal:  Severe withdrawal from society, as evidenced by refusal to communicate with family members, failing grades, lack of pleasure in hobbies or sports, and a constant desire to remain alone, is a basic sign of suicide.

Moodiness: Sudden euphoria after days of gloom could spell disaster.

Depression:  Depression is experienced differently by individuals.  The typical depressed person feels inactive, irritable, and morose, but other people are good at hiding their depression.  The only way to know for sure is to talk to the person.  Suicidal depression is always the result of anger combined with self-pity.

Aggression:  Suicidal threats are often preceded by violence - insults, threats, fights, and vandalism.

Recklessness:  The suicidal person often lacks attention from his parents and will endanger his life to get the attention he needs.

Drug abuse:  A frequent method of escape, drugs are an indication if they are taken suddenly by a non-user, or indulged in to an unprecedented degree.

Sexual Activity:  Inappropriate sexual behavior is often a sign of depression.  The victim engages in sex to feel wanted.  Often this can be combined with a death wish to push vulnerable people over the edge and into sexual perversions.  This sexual activity is not fulfilling and leaves the victim feeling empty, guilty, dirty, and more prone to suicide.

Eating Disorders:  Anorexia and bulimia are connected strongly to self-destructive thoughts.  Overeating is connected strongly to a lack of self-esteem.  Both are forms of self-destruction and important risk factors.

Gift-Giving:  Suicidal people will try to get their affairs in order before they kill themselves by giving away prized possessions to friends, writing a will, etc.  This is a gravely serious sign of suicidal ideation.

Trauma:  Major events such as moving to a new town, failing a course, divorcing parents, or death in the family force the hand of many suicidal people.  Remain aware of your friend's personal life.

Personality Change: A sudden change of one's personality is a key sign of suicidal tendencies.  It can be expressed in a complete reversal of attitudes and emotions, or it can manifest in a lack of self-care.

Threats:  Sooner or later, a suicidal person will mention that he is considering suicide.  Not only explicit threats should be considered, but implicit ones such as "I want to go to sleep and never wake up".

You can help a suicidal person.  Keep talking to him and ask questions to probe his conscience.  Be sympathetic but not patronizing.

Some suicide attempt victims are still alive today because a friend cared enough to not stop bothering them about the issue.  Be alert.  If your friend looks unwell, ask him if there's something he's not sharing with you.  Don't stop at the first 'no' if they express any desire to be deceased.

And here's a short list of things to NOT say to a suicidal person:

"You'll get over it.  Things will be better tomorrow."

Things may NOT be better tomorrow.  Saying this makes you another person who doesn't understand, according to the victim.

"You have your whole life ahead of you."

The victim is convinced that the rest of their life is dreary.

"You don't really feel that way."

Actually, he does.

"You'd never really do it."

Actually, he would.

When you speak to a suicidal person, don't judge, criticize, or ridicule the person, minimize his problems, or promise something that you can't give him.

Direct your friend to a social worker.  Most mental health services have an emergency phone number that the suicidal person can call if there's an emergency.

If you can, remove the instruments - rope, gun, knife, pills - that the victim would use.

Ask the victim to make a verbal contract with you that he will contact you if he considers suicide.

Pray for the victim.  This opens doors for the Holy Spirit to operate in that person's life, giver him strength to resist the desire to kill himself, and abolish the problems making his life difficult.  Praying before an encounter will give you the ability to say the right things to your friend.

When a victim refuses help, call the police.

If you don't help your suicidal friend, the guilt will haunt you.  Don't waste another minute.

(I credit Jerry Johnston's "Why Suicide" book with much of the helpful information I put on this webpage.  Thank you, Jerry.  I hope this helps somebody.)

Love you. God Bless.

Molatar Seth Pyrargent.
Dragon, Evangelist, Ranger.
© COPYRIGHT 2001 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED MOLATAR.COM Version 2.2